Between love and boundaries lies a complicated grief
Few days ago, I got the greatest bad news of my life, about my dad. He's gone. I can't process right now. My eyes just cry. And I don't know what emotions I'm feeling. I feel bombarded with everything. At the same time I feel bad. I haven't talked to him for so long. My last words to him that he literally heard were 'oh'. This means everything! At that time, I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't pick up his call even though my phone was in my hand. I was scared. I was scared of getting hurt by him. What have I done. Did he go knowing that his daughter was mad at him? Hated him? On the day he was in the hospital and I came to him, I called him. Although he was in a coma. I told him that I'm here. I came to him. To see him. And his heartbeat did something. What have I done. Have I done enough? Does he? Does he know?? Does he know how mad I am towards him, I still love him? No matter how much I hate him, but I care for him? Did he? I was cruel. I w...
